Christmas Memories

Growing up, Christmas was a really big deal in my family. My dad especially really enjoyed buying us presents and doing the whole Santa Claus thing.

Christmas started with the family Christmas photo. We'd all get dressed up - either in fancy clothes or matching something (often nightgowns) and pose for what seemed like hours while Dad or one of his friends go the perfect shot. The out takes were often a lot better than the "perfect" picture chosen for the card.

My fourth Christmas gift was a baby sister. I remember not being too thrilled about the disruption to my Christmas schedule. Dad made his favorite recipes (grilled cheese sandwiches and soup spaghetti) and I spent Christmas with my maternal grandparents.
I remember one year spotting some odd boxes in a closet ("Mom, what does G-A-M-E spell?) and after that the Santa gifts were stashed at Dad's office downtown. Family gifts got opened at 6pm on Christmas Eve and invariably Dad would have to go buy batteries around 5:30. This meant delaying the gift opening and lots of impatience.

Since Diane's birthday was Christmas Eve, she got to choose the dinner. I remember years of tuna casserole since that was her favorite. Fortunately, later on we switched to the more standard meal of turkey or ham.
We didn't have a lot of extended family around so it was usually just us or maybe my cousin Bill. I do remember being upset one year when we were at a cousin's house Christmas Eve. I was convinced Santa wouldn't find me and insisted we go home early. I think we stayed home after that.
My parents kept the Santa Claus story going for years and the rule was that once you turned 12 or 13, you were let in on the secret and got to be "Santa's helper." I think I would have held onto the story longer but those were the rules.
I remember my Dad giving me "The Prophecies of Nostradamus" and a Living Bible one Christmas when I was in my mid-teens. I think he wanted me to be well-rounded. I think I enjoyed the year I got the race car set and doll canopy bed more (when I was five or so) but I appreciated the books.
I think Christmas as a family/gift giving holiday became less important in my teens as we started having more friends and activities during the holiday season. But looking back, it's those early Christmases with my sisters and parents that I remember most fondly.
Now my family is all out of state and it's rare for me to spend Christmas with them. This year, Marie and I are planning to enjoy a Christmas Eve dinner on our own and Christmas Day with good friends. I hope you all have a joyous and blessed holiday season  however you choose to celebrate!

We're heading into the ThanksgivingChristmasNewYears whirl. Winter seems to have shown up this week unexpectedly with temperatures in the teens but no real snow yet.
When I was growing up, Thanksgiving was the start of a huge social season. My parents used to host a big holiday party in mid-December and we started cooking and preparing the Friday after Thanksgiving. There was a huge list of recipes to prepare (mock wild boar, meatballs/spaghetti sauce, marinated mushrooms, braunschweiger balls with paprika, etc), silver to polish, linens to iron, alcohol to buy. I don't really remember the parties but I do remember the cooking and cleaning.
We had a traditional Thanksgiving dinner (usually for just the immediate family) and I remember learning to cook the whole thing when I was 13 or 14. I thought this was really an honor but my mom was really the smart one. She delegated the whole meal to me and I gladly took it on. I think I cooked Thanksgiving dinner every year until I went to college.
I remember doing a huge dinner in 1988 when my sister, Jeannine, got married Thanksgiving weekend. I'm not sure how I crammed a 30-pound bird into the oven at the townhouse but I did. I think we had around 25 people (many out-of-towners who came for the wedding).
Somewhere along the way, Thanksgiving shifted to the Friday after. We usually celebrated with my ex-husband Dave's oldest sister and her family. Our niece spent Thursday with her mom and Friday with the step-family so we moved the date to keep her part of our family tradition. Even after she moved to college, Friday was still the day for the feast. It gave us an extra day to shop, cook, clean and relax and allowed us to include folks who had other commitments on Thanksgiving.
In 2006, Dave and I spent Thanksgiving in transition. I went to a friend's house on Thursday, to his sister's on Friday, and Monday we signed papers to sell our house and I moved into my condo in St. Paul. It was an emotional and physical chaos of activities and I'm still not sure how I got through all of it. I had a lot of help from friends (especially our move coordinator Sally).
I hosted a post-Thanksgiving Friday dinner for severely years with whatever friends are around and in need of turkey. This year, Marie and I are hosting a soup/salad/sandwich dinner and I'm looking forward to it.
My Thanksgivings have changed but in many ways they are still the same as the early years with my family. Turkey, friends, laughing, eating, drinking. Oh and lots of cleaning before and after. Now though, I don't polish silver or iron table linens. At least that part has gotten easier.
Hope your Thanksgiving includes traditions old and new and, if you're in the area and want some turkey on Friday, give us a call!

Ahhh-CHOOO

I've been sick with a nasty cold that turned into a sinus infection. After two rounds of antibiotics, lots of hot tea, hours spent in bed watching Grey's Anatomy on my iPad, and much sympathy from my housemates (both two-legged and four-legged), I think I'm starting to feel better.
I'm a pretty active person and being sick forces me to be sedentary and rest. I don't like being in bed thinking about all the things I could be doing, all the places I could be going, and all the things that aren't getting done. I can remember feeling good, but I can't imagine that I will ever feel better.
And of course I always think I can force the cold to go away through sheer mental power. Then I start my usual round of activities and end up back in bed.
I don't get sick often - my last cold was December 2011 and my last sinus infection spring of 2009. I'm not a pleasant sick person so it's probably good I'm mostly healthy. When I do get sick, I remember all the previous times I was sick and how annoying it was.
When I was in 9th grade (about 1973) I had a bout of not wanting to go to school. I was convinced I had rheumatic fever or mono and wanted to stay in bed. (I probably read about some suffering heroine with rheumatic fever.) I remember my mom taking me to the doctor (a female doctor, rare at that time) who said I didn't have anything medical but had some reason for not wanting to go to school so my parents humored me and I stayed in bed.
At the time, I was going to a local evangelical Christian school and starting to realize my beliefs didn't fit their teachings (no, my Jewish friends were not going to hell - even I knew that). I think those ideas partially led to my "sickness." I wasn't exactly sick, but I wasn't happy.
About halfway through that year, I switched schools and went to St. Paul Open School. The summer of 1974, I went to New Mexico and lived with my cousin and her family.  I came back for another year at Open School which mostly meant I spent a year reading whatever I wanted to. I knew I needed a stronger academic program since I was sure I wanted to go to college. My parents knew I thrived in an all-girls atmosphere so they decided to try Convent of the Visitation High School in Mendota Heights. I started in the fall of 1975 in 10th grade (I repeated sophomore year since my attendance had been spotty). I loved Vis and didn't have any desire to spend weeks in bed.
Now when I get sick, I worry that it might be something worse. I'm in my mid-50s and have started seeing friends with debilitating illnesses, parents ailing and passing away, so I know what being really sick means. I'm protective of my health, keep up with my checkups and tests, watch my diet, and exercise. I'm not a hypochondriac but I'm definitely more careful now than I was in my 20s and 30s. I'm a lot more willing to take a doctor's advice than I ever was before.
So this round of cold/sinus crap seems to be on its way out - it better not be back anytime soon!

Got to Serve Somebody!

You all know (or should know) that I'm no Bob Dylan fan. While he may be a great songwriter, he's greatly lacking as a singer. However, back in his pseudo-christian days (when we were in college), he did a song called "You've Got to Serve Somebody." Somehow we turned it into "You've got to serve somebody tater-tots" since that was one of the only eatable things in the cafeteria at St. Thomas College.
It seems an appropriate title for a post on volunteering. I really like volunteering and spend several hours a week doing so. Lately I've been reflecting on my volunteer activities and why I enjoy them so much. Here are some of my current volunteer activities.

• I started out as a reader for the State Services for the Blind in 1988. I always enjoyed reading and thought I had a good reading voice so I applied. I read some novels, then a show for teenagers. For the last 17 or so years, I've been reading a show on spirituality. I read articles and books on spiritual practices and activities. I stay away from dogma and doctrine. It usually takes me about 75 minutes to read a one-hour show (broadcast Sundays). 
• In 2009, I started volunteering for the Minnesota Fringe Festival and have increased my commitment to them every year. I added in serving on a theater board (Theatre Unbound) in 2010 and have started volunteering for other local theater and arts organizations as well (Mixed Blood, Torch, Hennepin Theatre Trust, Illusion, Cowles Center for Dance). 
• In 2013, I started volunteering for Quatrefoil Library (our local GLBT-focused library) and work primarily as a desk volunteer. I always wanted to be a librarian!

There are hundreds (thousands) of organizations that need volunteers. I choose groups that use my talents and skills in new ways, or that feed an interest/love I already have. I love theater so volunteering for theater companies is a natural extension of that passion. I love books and want to be supportive of GLBT organizations so the library was an easy choice. I like to read and find reading about spirituality inspiring (sort of pun intended) so the SSB was a great option.
I also like easily defined and finite tasks. My work tends to be very broadly focused and never-ending. Ushering at a play takes a few hours and has clearly defined responsibilities (take tickets, hand out programs, make sure nobody misbehaves, clean up afterwards). I also like the appreciation and support I receive from the staff at the organizations.
What don't I want to do? I'm not good at asking for money (no matter how much I support the organization). I prefer not to work with groups of children (I've mentored a teenaged girl and loved it; I tried teaching senior high religious education and didn't like it). I don't want to do something that's too much like my job.
Sometimes I wonder about turning one of my volunteer passions into a career but I don't think it would work. Years ago, I did a lot of volunteer work for my church and thought I'd combine my passion for spirituality with my leadership skills so I went to seminary. It wasn't a good fit though. I didn't want my spiritual life to become part of my job (and vice versa).
At this point, I'm not planning to take on any additional volunteer commitments. I'm not closing the door on it though - who knows what exciting opportunity might come along!

The Magic of Theater

Since I was named after a musical ("No, No Nanette" from the 1920s), maybe it's no surprise love theater as much as I do. In addition to naming me after a musical, I remember my parents taking me to a musical at what is now the Ordway Performing Arts Center back in the 1960s when I was six or so. I don't remember what it was, but I remember going.
In high school, I figured out that I wasn't meant to act - and I was definitely not meant to sing. I usually got to be an extra (an aging nun in "Murder in a Nunnery," the wench in "Once Upon a Mattress"). Then I was asked to be an assistant director for "Mattress" and realized that I was much better off behind the scenes (or in the audience).
The first play I remember seeing at the Guthrie Theater was "Oedipus The King" with a high school class. We sat way off on the side and I saw how the flowing blood was created when Oedipus tore out his eyes (small pouches in his hands that he popped at a key moment). that image stayed with me - I think it was the first time I realized that these magical moments on stage had a very real and practical method behind them.
Another one I remember was "My Sister in this House" at Actor's Theater (performed on campus at St. Thomas). It was a horrifying story and probably the first time I saw Sally Wingert perform (a long-time Twin Cities favorite). That story is still with me and I'd never see it again (no matter who is in it).
These images (and hundreds of others) stay with me longer than movies or TV. I think it's the immediacy, the knowing that it's a LIVE performance and there's no rewinding or editing allowed.
The best performances pull you in and can transform your life as you watch lives being transformed on stage. You can feel the emotion of the performer - whether it's written as a stage direction or something that unique person brings out on stage.
So yes, I love theater. Marie says I go more shows than anyone she knows (besides people who are in the business). In the last few years, I've volunteered at several smaller theaters and at the Minnesota Fringe Festival. It's a fun way for me to contribute and do more than sit in the audience or send a check.
Our love of theater is what brought Marie and I together. She spent years working as a stagehand and I spent years sitting in the audience. We still haven't figured out if I ever saw a performance while she was working - probably. Now we go together or we go separately and talk about it afterwards. I remember one play we saw that we both hated; we still spent hours discussing it.
My favorite moment at any show is after the lights come down and before the performers take the stage. I close my eyes and take a breath, feeling the anticipation in the audience and that of the actors, musicians, and others involved. I open my eyes, the lights come up, and then it happens - magic!

I've been thinking about writing a blog for a while now and finally decided to dive in. I've read a number of blogs by different people and different subjects over the years and wondered what I'd write if I ever decided to start.
As someone who makes her living focusing on words written by other people, I wondered if I had any words left of my own. Apparently I do.
The basics:
I'm 53 (54 next week), female, and living in St. Paul, Minnesota in a condo that looks a lot like the apartment we lived in when I was growing up (right down to the neighborhood and the long hallway). I've lived in this area nearly my whole life, went to school in the Twin Cities and never found a reason to leave. I'm ok with that - somehow being able to walk around the neighborhoods my parents and their parents lived in is important to me. I think if I was going to leave, I would have done so by now.
I live with my partner, my step-dog, and two cats. I was married for over 25 years, was on my own for four years, and found someone special nearly three years ago. We share an interest in theater, the arts, writing. She works as a stagehand, I'm more likely to be volunteering or sitting in the audience. She loves sailing, I'm better off on land. She loves opera, I like musicals, plays and concerts. We do well together and I can honestly say I'm happier than I expected to be.
My family is scattered around the world (three sisters, a batch of nieces and nephews) though my parents are nearby - at Fort Snelling Cemetery. I know that's an odd way to look at it, but that's the truth of the matter.
I love books and a well written story can move me to tears. On the other hand, a poorly written one can lead me to curses and throwing the book across the room (or more likely deleting it from my iPad). I've always loved theater and learned early on I'm better as an audience member, board member, and donor than performer. I love music though, besides a few attempts at piano, I'm a better listener.
I love to cook and to eat and to imagine what different combinations will taste like I'm currently eating a nearly 100% plant-based diet and don't miss meat (much) though giving up cheese has been a challenge.
I was very active in a Unitarian Universalist Church community but now spend my Sunday morning doing Bars and Nia classes. Someday I hope we can find a church we both like but until then on Sundays I dance.
I don't know where this blog will go but I promised myself that I would start. So here we are.
And so it goes.