Over the years, I've been a member of about ten different churches. I grew up in the Episcopal church (St. Clements, St. Paul) though I never identified strongly as Episcopal. I remember getting baptized the Easter I was nine when my youngest sister was a baby. My mother was not in favor of our baptism and I don't think she attended. I was also confirmed (age 16) at St. Clements.
In college, I went to chapel at St. Thomas and later converted to Catholicism. Even though I'd attended Catholic high school, I was one of the only non-Catholics in the school. I liked the way religion was practiced at St. Thomas and, since I was planning to marry a Catholic guy, it seemed a good idea that we share a church and faith.
We went to a couple churches in St. Paul, tried out Joan of Arc when we moved to St. Louis Park and landed at a suburban Catholic church where I stayed several years (probably longer than I should have).
Catholic theology and practices became less relevant the longer I was there. I couldn't understand why, as a woman, I was somehow "less than" the men in the church. Yes, I could serve on committees, read at Mass, distribute communion and nearly everything else. But there were no women in key leadership positions. I also found that some of the core theological concepts simply didn't fit my beliefs.
I knew I had to find a new home and started exploring. One day in about 1994, I found an article by Dear Abby describing some odd sounding religion (Unitarian Universalism). I researched more and decided to give it a try.
I knew there weren't many UU churches in the Twin Cities so choices were limited. I remember attending First Universalist Church in early September 1994 on Balloon Sunday. They read the story "The Red Balloon," we released our balloons and they floated up to the ceiling. Somehow I knew that was the place for me. I'd planned to try out the other UU churches but never did.
I stayed at First U for about several years and left in 2007. I was very active (committees, teaching RE, leading small groups, worship leader and on and on). Everything in my life changed and I found it necessary to change churches too. I tried out a couple other UU churches and eventually just stopped going.
While spirituality and my relationship with God (yes, I still use that term) seemed just as important as ever, attending church became less important. I was tired of the politics, the committees, the seemingly endless debate on any issue. So I quit. I thought about rejoining or looking for a new church but just didn't want to make the effort.
I asked myself several times why church had become less important, whether it just filled a particular need at a particular time, if I wanted to try again or if I should just let that expression of my spirituality go. I started going to Nia classes Sunday mornings (Nia is a movement class based on tai chi, yoga, kickboxing, dance, and a variety of other movements) and that seemed to work better than church.
Now Marie and I are exploring churches together. I'm not comfortable with a lot of Christian theology so our choices are pretty much between UCC and UU congregations. Right before Christmas we tried out Clark Memorial UCC in South St. Paul. It's a fascinating community with a very interesting history. I hope it works for us since I really would like to have a shared spiritual experience with someone who is so important to me.
I also hope I don't end up on a bunch of committees or in a leadership role. At this stage, I don't think I want that part of a church experience.
